Nothing too profound to report over here.
It started with that episode of Angel when he and Spike are arguing over who would win in a fight — caveman vs. astronaut (caveman wins). This turned into a long weekend of watching Spike TV’s Deadliest Warrior episodes online (I Twittered this last point yesterday evening, and to my amusement, received prompt responses from Max Geiger and Geoff Desmoulin. That was weird.).(We’ve also been watching episodes of V, which I may discuss later. Anna as Obama?). Maybe it’s all the samurai films in our media collection, and maybe it’s the fact that we’ve been watching a lot of aliens vs. vikings/Outlander, or Megashark vs. Giant Octopus types of films.
Anyway, my genuine curiosity piqued, and hence, a weekend filled with episodes of Deadliest Warrior. For Viking vs. Samurai, I called Samurai, and I thought this was just my own bias. For Ninja vs. Spartan, I am pretty sure I called Spartan. Think 300. For Shaolin Monk vs. Maori Warrior, I was for the Shaolin Monk, mostly because these exhibited the least amount of bravado. For Apache vs. Gladiator, I really didn’t know. Geronimo was fierce, but we remember he ended up on display at the 1904 St. Louis World Expo.
It’s so amusing, the bravado. So much testosterone in the room, such trash talking, the room could implode. So that’s part of the appeal/amusement, but also, my curiosity of what damage ancient weapons do to a human body, this (morbid) curiosity satisfied by weapons specialists demonstrating a katana through a stack of dead pigs, other blades and axes through a ballistic gel human body form’s simulated skull, skin tissue, and internal organs. But here is where morbid curiosity morphs into perversion for me: I.R.A. vs. Taliban. Here, we have automatic weapons such as the AK-47 and the Armalite (AR-15), explosives such as the nail bomb and land mines. Here, we have the Iraqi born American FBI counterterrorism agent and the former Mujahiddeen speaking on behalf of the Tailban’s ruthlessness and effectiveness, vs. the I.R.A. specialists doing the same.
Their weapons tests, their battle reenactments are too real looking, given the political volatility, the current state of world affairs (we are at war with Afghanistan after all). And in fact, the man who sets the I.R.A. nail bomb has to be digitally blurred to conceal his identity; that’s how volatile this one is. And when we watch the battle simulation between the two groups, it’s like watching a combination of the news and a FPS game. This verges on bad taste, you know? (Think: how bad taste would it be to pit the Columbine High/Trenchcoat Mafia versus the Virginia Tech shooter?) So my curiosity, the fact that I am watching in interest, is kind of perverse. And yeah, I am still really digging the show.
Whedon would be proud of you for this entire post.
That is superb. A joy to read.
Ha! Thanks gentlemen, it’s always good for me to indulge in other than po-biz and community events/issues.
But seriously, pirates vs. knights: who wins?
Have the pirates been given rum?
Probably. They could also use it on wounds, and to blow up stuff!
It doesn’t want to let me reply to your reply.
I say the operative word is “could.” It could be used to disinfect a wound or blow stuff up. We are, however, dealing with pirates. I’m pretty sure they’ll be drunk before the fight starts, running around and singing dirty ditties, chasing whatever knight looks most feminine (or not, you never know what’s going to turn on a pirate, being away at sea for so long).
That being said, assuming we can keep the pirates (relatively) sober, my money is on them. They get guns. Unless there are no weapons involved, like the astronauts/cavemen fight. In which case I think the knights will have more developed physiques and the upper hand.
Also, in Pirates of the Caribbean, do you think Orlando Bloom ever thought to himself “I’m kissing Keira Knightly!” and Keira Knightly thought to herself “I’m kissing Legolas!”?
You know, the pirates won this one, and I don’t buy it!
I don’t really buy it either. Didn’t see the episode, but the knights just strike me as being in incredible shape. While the pirates might be more acrobatic, that’s not going to matter much as soon as you close for combat (and if they’re allowed weapons, then the whole thing goes right to hell, I suppose, since one side gets guns and the other doesn’t).
In barely-related news, I’m showing “Hush” (Buffy S4E10) for my Intro to Composition students on Wednesday.